Sunday, August 24, 2014
Status Update
By The Unpreschooler
I recently have let go of pretty much all expectations on Mark.
My expectations are now this. I expect him to not hurt other people, and to try to be kind. I expect him to treat property with respect.
Thats it. I don't expect him to clear his plate, or say please, or clean up his toys, or go to bed at 8pm, or get up at 8am. I don't expect him to do much because he is 3. He is around loving kind people most of the time. He will learn those things from this family and friends with little pushing needed and he is already proving that to me.
It has taken me 28 years to learn to do a lot of those things half way. I don't expect my husband to do most of those things, why would I expect a 3 year old to do these things?
Today it's 9:30, and Ace has a ton of work to do but he's still asleep. He has nowhere to be so I'll leave him alone until he wakes up. There are no time constraints to his work today, he can do it just as well at 10am as he can at 10pm.
The same goes for Mark. Its 9:30 and he's still asleep. The only time constraint on his work is daylight. I'm kind of amazed he's still asleep. Normally he's up when I'm up. This must mean he really needs this sleep. I respect that and let them both sleep.
The crazy thing is, that the less expectations I put on Mark the more responsible he becomes. I've been in the habit of picking up the entire house once a day and vacuuming. Mark now realizes this and just jumps in and does it with me. All I've ever asked of him is to stay out of the way.
The other night I was picking up the living room (it was pretty late, maybe 9 or 10 pm) and Mark went in his room. I assumed he was playing. The next morning I went in his room to get him dressed and the floor was clear! I asked him, "Who cleaned your room?" his response "I did, because you were cleaning the living room, so I picked up my room."
I was floored. I had hoped someday he would follow that example, but not necessarily at age 3! That being said, I don't expect it again tonight or tomorrow because he is his own person, and he is only 3, he will learn these habits over many years.
My expectations are now this. I expect him to not hurt other people, and to try to be kind. I expect him to treat property with respect.
Thats it. I don't expect him to clear his plate, or say please, or clean up his toys, or go to bed at 8pm, or get up at 8am. I don't expect him to do much because he is 3. He is around loving kind people most of the time. He will learn those things from this family and friends with little pushing needed and he is already proving that to me.
It has taken me 28 years to learn to do a lot of those things half way. I don't expect my husband to do most of those things, why would I expect a 3 year old to do these things?
Today it's 9:30, and Ace has a ton of work to do but he's still asleep. He has nowhere to be so I'll leave him alone until he wakes up. There are no time constraints to his work today, he can do it just as well at 10am as he can at 10pm.
The same goes for Mark. Its 9:30 and he's still asleep. The only time constraint on his work is daylight. I'm kind of amazed he's still asleep. Normally he's up when I'm up. This must mean he really needs this sleep. I respect that and let them both sleep.
The crazy thing is, that the less expectations I put on Mark the more responsible he becomes. I've been in the habit of picking up the entire house once a day and vacuuming. Mark now realizes this and just jumps in and does it with me. All I've ever asked of him is to stay out of the way.
The other night I was picking up the living room (it was pretty late, maybe 9 or 10 pm) and Mark went in his room. I assumed he was playing. The next morning I went in his room to get him dressed and the floor was clear! I asked him, "Who cleaned your room?" his response "I did, because you were cleaning the living room, so I picked up my room."
I was floored. I had hoped someday he would follow that example, but not necessarily at age 3! That being said, I don't expect it again tonight or tomorrow because he is his own person, and he is only 3, he will learn these habits over many years.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)